wfn.org | A Story of Forgiveness by Gus Lee

[DISCNEWS.parti@ecunet.org]

October 7, 1996
Disciples News Service
Christian Church (Disciples of Christ)
Contact: Clifford L. Willis
Cliff_Willis.parti@ecunet.org

96a-85

     COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (DNS) -- In September 1985, the
Rev. Scott Allen learned that his wife Lydia had contracted
HIV via a transfusion; the virus had passed by pregnancy to
newborn Bryan and three-year-old Matthew. A phone call from
a blood bank had, that day, Scott said, stopped the future.

     Scott was the youth minister at First Christian Church
(Disciples of Christ), Colorado Springs. He passed the sad
news to his senior pastor. The pastor responded by asking
for Scott's immediate resignation.

     Eleven years ago, national awareness of HIV/AIDS was
low even by today's considerable level of AIDS fear. Scott
and Lydia took their children to join family in Texas.
There, no church of any denomination would allow Matthew to
attend Sunday school. The help the Allens would receive
thereafter would have secular origins.

     First, Bryan died. Then Lydia passed. Last November,
Matt, 13, died.

     Scott's abrupt departure from FCC precipitated heavy
criticism of the senior pastor. Soon thereafter, the board
discharged him.

     Five years ago, the Rev. Gaylord (Gay) Hatler became
senior pastor. Hatler had been a member of the congregation
in 1985, while stationed at Fort Carson as an army chaplain.
Unable to forget Scott, Lydia, Matthew or Bryan, he kept
them in prayer and in his thoughts.

     "Most of my work," he said, "has been in healing the
wounds of a divided church. I felt sorrow for Scott, his
family, his father . . .  and for the church, which had been
targeted by the press. I prayed. The result was an idea -
why not hold an AIDS awareness seminar? It would be a chance
for healing for everyone."

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Disciples News Service
96a-85

     But would Scott participate? Hatler called him. He also
called Scott's father, the Rev. Jimmy Allen, a prominent
clergyman and former president of the Southern Baptist
Convention.

     In his 1995 book, Burden of a Secret: A Story of Truth
and Mercy in the Face of AIDS, Jimmy Allen wrote about his
family suffering both AIDS and Christian rejection. He also
recounted FCC's rejection of Scott and his young family and
began speaking on behalf of church renewal based on
Christian compassion. 

     On Sept. 15, Scott Allen, after an absence of 11 years,
returned to Colorado Springs and to First Christian Church.
People, including FCC parishioners who had left the church a
decade ago in protest of Scott's departure, filled the
sanctuary. News cameras and reporters clustered at the
chancel to hear the five panelists. But the focus was on
Scott and his father. How would they react to the church
that had failed them? A hush filled the church.

     Jimmy Allen smiled warmly while admitting mixed
feelings about being at FCC on the anniversary of the first
bad news. He thanked Hatler for his leadership and expressed
sorrow for the dysfunction of what he terms, "families of
faith."  

     He said that churches suffer from a "Rip van Winkle
syndrome" -- a slow awakening to the hurt and the injured
who have been left by churches to die alone. "Stop fearing,"
he said, "and start  faithing.' Help them. They are tired,
weak and alone. Reach out. Help an HIV person."

     "I'm back," said Scott Allen, who is not infected with
HIV. He described a spiritual journey that invoked the image
of Job and has led him to Eastern religion.

     "Much of the pain was not here," Scott said. "It was in
Texas, where all the churches said no. Lydia, a very wise,
incredible woman, said that someday, society will catch up
with the facts."

     Scott's brother Skip is gay and also has HIV. Through
him, Scott learned of the gay community's great strengths
and losses. Its suffering educated him. 

     Scott also spoke of Lydia's strength after Bryan's
death, of her storing energy to attend PTA meetings,
pretending to be healthy and strong. He spoke of her final
wish: to see her babies again.

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Disciples News Service
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     So Scott and young Matt became a family of two,
surrounded by grief but somehow sustaining hope. In the
final year, Scott was with his son 21 hours a day. "Matt was
charismatic, a very wise soul. One day, driving back from
therapy, he said he knew the meaning of life. 'The meaning
of life,' he said, 'is life itself."'

     Last November, on the day before Matt slipped into a
final coma, his father asked him when he wanted to die.

     "I want to die when you die," said Matt. It was the one
thing Scott could not do for his son. Later, Scott realized
that perhaps that was not true. That as long as he lived, as
long as the father gave testament to the life of his son,
then so lived Matt.

     News reporters present asked if he had any animosity
toward the church.

     "No," he said. "This is a loving church. Forgiveness is
the price I have to pay for freedom." The focus, he said,
should be in caring for those in need. "Churches need to be
active, without denial. It's here. Be aware. It's not just
one group. It's us." At another point, Scott Allen said, "In
giving, we receive love."

     On this day of healing, of forgiveness, and of
compassion, two fathers who have lost more than can be
measured, gave mightily.

     Perhaps, they had a sense of how much love was returned
to them by a church that has, because of them, a stronger
sense of its call.

     Scott Allen continues, however unofficially, the
ministry that he began in Colorado Springs. It was a journey
he began as a young minister, as a young father and a young
husband, back in the days before his future became an
enduring example of forgiveness, before his future became a
reminder about a larger human responsibility.

                          - 30 -

(Editors' note: Enclosed is a photograph taken of Jimmy and
Scott Allen during their visit to First Christian Church,
Colorado Springs.)

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