wfn.org | Roots, ritual, tradition vital to family health, Campolo says

[NewsDesk <NewsDesk@UMCOM.UMC.ORG>]

August 11, 1998	Contact: Linda Green*(615)742-5470*Nashville, Tenn.
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NASHVILLE, Tenn.(UMNS) - The health of a family depends on roots, ritual
and tradition,  a noted author told participants attending a national
United Methodist conference here Aug. 5-8.

In a keynote address to more than 350 family ministry leaders in the
denomination,  the Rev. Tony Campolo said the task of the family is to
"provide roots and wings," a place where there is a sense of wisdom, the
future and what God is calling it to become. Campolo, an American
Baptist clergyman, teaches at Eastern College, St. Davids, Penn.

Participants attending "Family '98" included United Methodists from the
United States,  Zimbabwe, the Philippines and Puerto Rico.

Regarding rootage, Campolo stressed the importance of rituals and
traditions in the Christian family.  Rituals, he said, provide a sense
of solidarity or belonging; enhanced loyalty; education from generation
to generation;  and emotional stability. 

As he spoke of the functions of rituals, he infused his message with
examples of religious groups that have achieved oneness through rituals.
The key to solidarity among Roman Catholics, he said, has been the mass
which had been performed uniformly by Catholics all over the world.
When the tradition of the mass changed - including no longer using Latin
- Campolo said solidarity in the church began to fall apart.

Campolo also cited members in the Muslim tradition  who participate in a
ritualistic process where their faith is revitalized  by bowing  toward
Mecca  and praying  five times a day.  In this ritual, Campolo said,
identity is reestablished and commitment is regenerated. "Rituals keep
them loyal to the group from whence they came." 

Rituals don't have to be overly dramatic, he explained.  Even the
opening of Christmas gifts can be a meaningful process.  He also noted
that rituals provide a valuable way of  recreating the past and
regenerating what has been lost. 

When family rituals are broken, families begin to disintegrate, he
warned.  "Without rituals, loyalty and commitment, what are we?"  he
asked. 

Campolo noted that children in the inner-city are often void of order,
ritual and tradition. "They are strayed individuals floating around," he
said. "There is an absence of structure in their lives." This lack of
order, he said, leads to self-destruction.

Just as a family provides roots, it also can create wings, Campolo said.
As a starter, he suggested that every family define its mission.  While
society tells children what to do, how to think and what their values
should be,  he said parents should have  a mission statement for their
own children. "What is wrong with parents saying,  'As for me and my
house we will serve the Lord'." 

Although children may rebel against what is imposed, Campolo said it is
the responsibility of parents to describe the values, the commitment,
the mission of the family. A child seeking individuality and spontaneity
will rebel against the imposed familial mission, he cautioned,  but a
synthesis will emerge to bring in the best elements of both the
individual and the family.

Parents, Campolo said, should give their children a sense of caring and
vision. "Without dreams and visions, the people parish," he said. 

According to Lia Icaza-Willetts, director of family ministries for the
United Methodist Board of Discipleship here,  the conference  recognized
the importance of the church ministering to families of many
configurations, not just individuals.

Under the banner of "A Tapestry of God's Handiwork," the conference
provided participants with learning opportunities, print and video
resources, and  experts to assist in ministry with families in church
and community settings. Bible Studies and worship gave theological
perspectives on families and offered models that included families in
worship services. Plenary sessions  provided new knowledge as well as
new challenges on how to be in ministry with families in the 21st
century. 

Self-esteem, success and sustenance, were the topics addressed by
Marjorie Kimbrough, a writer and speaker from Atlanta where she is a
member of Cascade United Methodist Church.  

Reflecting on the assurance of her mother that she could accomplish
anything, Kimbrough offered steps for raising self-esteem and dealing
with people who seek to impose limitations. 

To raise self-esteem, she said it is important to:
*	give thanks to God for the day by waking up with a prayer and
realizing that you are important and that daily God gives the
opportunity to be the best person for him;
*	pray and meditate faithfully because prayer makes a difference;
*	exercise because when the body gets going, a person gets a sense
of who they are;
*	plan well-balanced meals;
*	maintain an attractive wardrobe because compliments build
confidence which builds esteem;
*	do something for someone else daily because this action fosters
worth and responsibility; and
*	do something for yourself.

Kimbrough said that in striving to reach goals, a person should not
allow others to place limitations on them. To counter such limitations,
she said individuals should:

*	pray for the person who is limiting them;
*	make lists that show the good things the limitor brings to the
personal relationship with you and the detrimental things that strain
the relationship;
*	describe the ideal relationship;
*	consider the possibility;
*	confront the person imposing the limitations.

"Success is personal satisfaction with one's attainment in life,"
Kimbrough said. "If you are satisfied, then you are successful."

Conference participants attended workshops to explore topics such as
parenting skills, grandparenting, families and faith, blended families,
divorce recovery for children and meeting the needs of step-families,
coping with grief , issues facing older adults,  family values and
public policy.

In a workshop on public policy and families, Jim Fowler, a professor at
United Methodist-related Emory University in Atlanta, outlined how
welfare reform is affecting families and how people of faith can
respond. 

Sharing their own experiences with welfare reform, workshop participants
said individuals taken from welfare roles are increasingly turning to
the church for assistance. 

Noting that the family is a universal feature of all societies, Fowler
said individuals must have communion and a valued place where they
belong and are accepted and loved.  In families, he said individuals can
be a part of and part from community and find the assurance of meaning
and bodily sustenance such as shelter and sexual identification.

In terms of how people of faith can respond to crises or children and
people in need, Fowler suggested they:
*	take individual action;
*	take responsibility in the workplace;
*	make public policy;
*	empower the faith community.

For congregations wishing to respond to people in need, he suggested
opening of the church doors and investment of time, talents and money to
a ministry of child and recruitment of backup providers to assist
parents when their children are mildly ill or when their regular
care-givers are unavailable.

United Methodist News Service
(615)742-5470
Releases and photos also available at
http://www.umc.org/umns/