wfn.org | Florida team reaches out to clergy families

[NewsDesk <NewsDesk@UMCOM.ORG>]

Jan. 14, 2002  News media contact: Tim Tanton7(615)742-54707Nashville, Tenn.
10-71B{008}

By Michael Wacht*
	
LAKELAND, Fla. (UMNS) - As the wife of a bishop, Melba Whitaker knows that a
clergy spouse has a "difficult and different lifestyle," full of joys and
struggles. That is one reason she is leading an effort to provide healing
ministries to the Florida Annual Conference's clergy and their spouses and
families.
	
Clergy spouses are ministers in their own right, with their own calling from
God, said Whitaker, wife of Florida Conference Bishop Timothy W. Whitaker.
Throughout her ministry as a clergy spouse, Whitaker said she has seen the
pain and hurt clergy spouses endure. That has helped her hear a call to care
for the health and welfare of clergy families. She is working to fulfill
that call by creating safe havens for clergy families in crisis.
	
Whitaker is working with a team of laity, clergy and cabinet members to open
a healing house or houses in the Florida Conference.
	
"A healing house is a place where clergy and/or their spouse and/or family
can go in crises when they need to get away from the church or the parsonage
and make a decision," she said.
	
Each healing house would be a furnished house where clergy and families
could go for a retreat. They would be served meals as needed and receive
spiritual direction, pastoral counseling and even psychotherapy, according
to Whitaker.
	
"It would be a real place where people can come ... a way to reach out to
clergy families in crises," she said.
	
As part of her ministry, Whitaker spent last fall traveling around the
Florida Conference with her husband and meeting with as many clergy spouses
as possible. Her husband became the denomination's newest bishop in February
2001, when he was elected during a special session of the Southeastern
Jurisdiction and appointed to succeed the late Cornelius Henderson.

In each district, Whitaker shared the stories of her and her husband's
ministry and life together, and invited the clergy spouses to share their
stories.
	
"They could resonate with parts of our story, with the joys and the
struggles," she said. "It was a wonderful opportunity for us to bond ... for
them to know and get comfortable with us and build a trusting relationship
between the clergy and the office of the bishop."
	
Whitaker said she met an average of 20 spouses per district, most of them
spouses of active clergy. She was impressed that many took time off from
work to attend the session, and she got a sense that it was a valuable time
for them.
	
"There were several conversations that were pretty emotional," she said.
"Many responded with tears and a feeling that someone was finally listening
to them and that it's OK to talk about the struggles in ministry. It gave
permission for spouses to share the good and the bad."
	
One spouse expressed her feelings of isolation. "Others gathered around her
in prayer and made lunch dates and times to get together," Whitaker said.
"There was a powerful sense that they felt, 'We need to connect more.' I
hope this is the beginning of a connection for clergy spouses and families."
	
It is also the beginning of what Whitaker says is a larger ministry of
healing for clergy spouses and families. The healing house ministry is still
in its formative stages. The team has met twice and is in the process of
applying for grants to support its work.

# # #
*Wacht is the assistant editor of the Florida Annual Conference's edition of
the United Methodist Review. This story originally appeared in that
publication.

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United Methodist News Service
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