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Episcopalians: L.A. conversation on same-gender blessing encompasses many views


From dmack@episcopalchurch.org
Date Wed, 28 May 2003 10:26:54 -0400

May 24, 2003

2003-117

Episcopalians: L.A. conversation on same-gender blessing 
encompasses many views 

by Pat McCaughan and Janet Kawamoto

(ENS) In the end, Deacon Fred Glass said, Alabama's late Gov. 
George Wallace had something more to say than "Segregation now! 
Segregation tomorrow! Segregation forever!" during his years of 
virulent opposition to the civil rights of black Americans.

Glass's words were addressed to some 70 fellow Episcopalians, 
gathered May 7-11 in Los Angeles from 12 states to discuss their 
differing views on liturgical blessings for same-gender unions. 
The forum was a "National Conversation" convened at St. James' 
Church, Wilshire Boulevard, by Los Angeles Bishop J. Jon Bruno.

In 1974, after an assassination attempt had left him 
wheelchair-bound, Wallace visited Dexter Avenue Baptist Church 
in Montgomery and "asked for and was given forgiveness." 
Wallace's contrition, Glass said, was occasioned by "a 
transformation of his relationships and a transformation of his 
heart" in his association with black people.

"Justice is the bedrock of any community or nation that seeks to 
be free of resentment and broken relationships," Glass 
emphasized in his address, one of some 13 talks offered on 
various aspects of reconciliation as outlined for the gathering 
by the Rev. Brian Cox, rector of Christ the King Parish in Santa 
Barbara, California, whose experience in conflict resolution 
reaches from Washington, D. C. to Kosovo and Kashmir. 
"Resentment (occurs) because others have privileges that some of 
us do not have. And because of the denial of privileges, we 
become very combative in our relationships with our oppressors. 

"You cannot build reconciliation on a foundation of injustice," 
said Glass, who spoke from his experience of building "shared 
privilege" and gradually breaking down stereotypes that some 
white commanding officers in the U.S. Air Force held about him 
as a black colonel, in spite of his considerable expertise in 
electrical engineering and missile systems. "Justice sometimes 
demands the redress of wrongs from the past committed against 
individuals, communities or nations." 

Hands in healing

Glass is part of another group of 70--a cadre of clergy and 
laity within the Diocese of Los Angeles who self-identify as 
"conservative, progressive or moderate"--who have been trained 
in conflict resolution under an initiative launched by Bruno in 
2001. As bishop, Bruno allocated funding to offer the services 
of these reconcilers, grouped in teams, to any diocese or 
congregation seeking help in addressing issues of conflict 
within the church. 

Bruno, whose episcopate began with a local anti-violence "Hands 
in Healing" campaign that spread nationally, told the 
participants that reconciliation is the most important work they 
can engage: "The work of reconciliation isn't that I want to 
grab you, drag you here, and make you think the way I think. It 
takes understanding that we have a great work in the world, to 
be the hands of Christ in this world.

"As the Reconciliation Initiative continues, it is my fantasy 
that we will live in a world of understanding, nonviolence, 
justice and mercy for all and respect dignity of every human 
being," Bruno said. "Jesus Christ expressed it. Gandhi expressed 
it. Mother Teresa expressed it. If we believe we can love one 
another with that kind of energy, we will be that kind of love 
in the world in such a way that we will work for abundance 
rather than being obliterators of one another."

Hosted under the auspices of Bruno's "Hands in Healing" 
initiative, the "national conversation" asked participants, 
including several deputies to General Convention, to "get into 
the mindset of reconciliation vs. the mindset of 'my way at all 
costs,'" said the Rev. Barbara Cavin, priest-in-charge of Church 
of the Holy Spirit, Livonia, Michigan, and a deputy from the 
Diocese of Michigan. 

"As people get to know gays and lesbians," Cavin said, "then 
blessing of same-gender unions isn't just an issue, it's people 
you're talking about."

Conservative absence noted

The Rev. Randolph Dales, rector of All Saints, Wolfeboro, New 
Hampshire, and a deputy from New Hampshire, questioned whether 
the gathering reached its goal of being a "national 
conversation" given the number of dioceses represented and the 
ratio of some seven conservative participants to 26 progressives 
plus the balance identifying as moderates. 

Dales said the L.A. conversation would have been more diverse 
had other conservative leaders accepted invitations to attend. 
"But this kind of conversation is not something we should do on 
occasion or in crisis," Dales said. "Reconciliation should be a 
way of life. It's what we're called to do, the primary goal of 
the baptismal covenant." 

"While I am convinced that an official but optional rite for 
blessing same-sex unions is essential for the future of the 
church," said the Rev. Michael Hopkins, rector of St. George's, 
Glen Dale, Maryland, and president of Integrity, a national 
organization of gays and lesbians and their friends, "I'm also 
convinced that events such as this one are, as well. 
Progressives and conservatives have no option but to learn to 
live together in this church of ours. My sadness was that there 
were no conservative leaders present. I urge them to come to the 
reconciliation table. Integrity is waiting for them there."

Cost of expression

But despite the low census of conservative participants at the 
L.A. conversation, Arthur Kusumoto, parishioner of St. John's, 
Kula, Maui--a deputy from the Diocese of Hawaii and trustee of 
the Church Pension Fund--praised the gathering. "I'm quite 
impressed," he said. "I have a better understanding of the 
issues that will be in front of us at General Convention. My aim 
currently is to see that we will not be divided, and hopefully 
we can all work together." 

Among participants--who included laity and clergy, gay and 
straight, men and women, Anglos, Latinos, African Americans and 
Asian Americans--some spoke to the cost of publicly expressing 
conservative, progressive or moderate views about liturgical 
blessings for same-gender unions.

"I feel a deep sadness, and I don't think it is possible to 
reconcile the issue," attorney Lynn Moyer of Long Beach, 
California, said in a plenary session. Moyer said that she has 
felt "disbelief at the way Christians are treating one another, 
and hurt, attack and hatred from liberals" who differ with her 
opposition to same-gender blessings.

"The issue won't go away," Moyer said. "If it passes there will 
be schism and the only issue that remains for me at this point 
is how will we reconcile parting. Will it be an angry, awful 
divorce or reconcile relationships allowing people to leave as 
friends? I feel your pain. I want you to feel my pain, too."

Focus on core values

While conversation participants spoke at times about steps and 
"grace" required when parties decide "to part amicably," the 
gathering's focus remained on reconciliation. At one point, 
participants drafted a resolution, intended for General 
Convention, that recommended the reconciliation and dialogue 
process to the wider church; however, consensus was not reached 
around the resolution, and discussion was tabled, with the 
understanding that it would be taken up again via electronic 
mail.

"Reconciliation is what Jesus calls us to," said Michael 
Cunningham, L.A.'s diocesan missioner for administration and 
mission congregations, who assisted in hosting the conversation. 
"In the catechism in the back of the prayer book, it's clear 
that reconciliation is what Jesus calls us to. Engaging in that 
work is a truthful and honorable way to be faithful to Jesus. 
And being faithful is what I seek to be.

"If people have courage," Cunningham said, "they will seek to be 
reconciled with one another, and will stay within the church. I 
think the issues that bind us together are greater than those 
that divide us."

Key to the discussion was a small-group exercise in which 
participants identified individual and collective Episcopal 
Church core values. Values held by individual participants were: 
"compassion, respect, integrity, truth, forgiveness, justice, 
community, spiritual growth, communion with God," while top core 
values identified for the church at large were: "tradition, 
consensus (with diplomacy), reason (with knowledge), liturgy, 
aesthetics, scripture, and power."

Cox, who served as one of the chairs of the New Commandment Task 
Force, noted that without exception, each group listed "respect" 
as a core value for individuals, but not for the larger church.

"It is interesting how much we reveal about ourselves," Cox told 
the group. "Respect is consistently listed as a group core 
value, but no one mentioned it for the church. 

"At the heart of justice is respect. If we don't value respect 
we will never achieve justice," said Cox, who leads the diocesan 
reconciliation initiative with Cynthia Drennan, parish 
administrator of St. James' Church, Newport Beach; Joanne 
O'Donnell, a local Superior Court Judge and parishioner of St. 
James' Church in Los Angeles; and Michael Witmer, an attorney 
and parishioner of the Cathedral Center Congregation in Los 
Angeles. 

"And when we get to what values we share, conservatives and 
liberals, underneath it all, value a lot of the same things."

Beyond labels

Hopkins told the gathering that, more than anything, he hates 
being labeled a liberal. 

"I hate labels because they continue to force us to speak in 
sound bites and position statements and to draw lines in the 
sand," he said. "My reaction to the conflict in the church is 
similar to Lynn's [Moyer]. I feel a deep sadness. We continue to 
draw lines in the sand and dare one another to cross them, to 
define the other' side. I'm frustrated."

Noting that members of his own constituency frequently criticize 
him for "selling out," Hopkins stressed the need for real, 
ongoing conversation. "You can't enter into the dance of 
reconciliation without the risk of taking hits from your own 
folks who don't understand the opportunity to have a real 
conversation and try to find a way to live together.

"I'm frustrated that not much of that feeling is reciprocated," 
said Hopkins, adding "the absence of conservative counterparts 
in the church who failed to be here has taken some hope away 
from me. It says to me that they don't believe the issues are 
reconcilable. And perhaps the only thing we can do is to decide 
how we'll part. I don't want to do that. I don't want to part 
ways. I don't want to live in a church when liberals' and 
conservatives' can't live together.

"That's not the church I joined some 20 years ago. It's not the 
church I pledged my life to at my ordination. I know my life and 
ministry would be diminished without you," he told the other 
participants.

"I know my own insistence that a way has to be found for 
same-sex blessings poses a dilemma for some people," he said. "I 
seem to be saying I want both things, and I guess I do. We can 
disagree and still witness to love, peace and justice in the 
kingdom of God."

Difficult for moderates too

Michael Russell, a parishioner of St. James' Church in Los 
Angeles, said that just because he's a moderate doesn't mean 
"I'm not as disturbed as the other speakers."

"I have no problem with people's sexual orientation, but I feel 
the clergy have done me a disservice. They haven't given me the 
theology or religious background to adequately address this 
issue. I'm forced to rely on the bias of my upbringing, through 
12 years in Catholic schools. 

"I would like to have religion provide moral absolutes or at 
least guidelines to teach my children. When I talk to 
conservatives, they think the church is trying to solve social 
problems through religion," Russell said.

"I've gone to the Bible, it's confusing. The Old Testament has 
been used to justify a lot of things that are not socially 
acceptable. I am married to a Caucasian woman," said Russell, 
who is African-American. "Less than fifty years ago, that wasn't 
acceptable, and people quoted Scripture about that."

A recent experience as a member of a lay discernment committee 
for a gay aspirant who has been in a long-time committed 
relationship prompted Russell to reflect more deeply about the 
issue.

Being moderate is hard, he acknowledged. "Where I am, on the 
fence, I do fear that, without providing more foundation about 
what we're doing. I don't understand what we're being opposed 
to. Is it welcoming gays into the church as a part of the 
church, or deciding that same-sex blessings are the equivalent 
of marriage? All people are not called to all sacraments. People 
who aren't heterosexual may not be called to marriage but that's 
not to say they aren't called to longer-term committed 
relationships."

Eight core values of reconciliation

"Collective identity and dissent are part of God's plan," Cox 
told the conference during his address on "Reconciliation as 
Moral Vision" while guiding participants through a 77-page 
syllabus that he prepared to support the dialogue. "It is God's 
intention that we have a sense of dignity, distinction and 
identity." 

Cox outlined eight core values of reconciliation that are "like 
facets on a diamond," he said, "reflecting the principles taught 
by Jesus of Nazareth." These same eight core values formed the 
topics of major talks during the gathering.

-- Pluralism: Seeking unity in the midst of diversity. In her 
talk on this subject, Drennan likened the nurture of diversity 
to the art and science of bridge-building.

-- Inclusion: All are welcome, valued and desired in the spirit 
of agape, or unconditional love. In his talk, Cunningham spoke 
of "demolishing walls of hostility," ranging from the complexity 
of racism to the insensitive use of language. "Saying, I hear 
you: I don't agree, but help me to understand'" said Cunningham, 
means "that we are kept in dialogue, and therefore kept together 
in Christ."

-- Peacemaking: Resolution of conflicts and disputes. Cox 
addressed this point in his talk titled "Conflict Resolution."

-- Justice: Following the moral absolutes given by God, such as 
human rights and respect. "Sharing Privilege: The Principle of 
Social Justice" was the topic addressed by Glass. 

-- Forgiveness: Setting people and communities free from the 
burden of hate and the desire for revenge. Donna Machado, 
parishioner at All Saints, Pasadena, addressed this under the 
title "Healing Relationships Between Individuals and 
Communities: The Principle of Forgiveness."

-- Healing deep wounds: Understanding the collective memory of a 
community or nation and the wounds of history. Cox took up these 
points under the title "Facing the Truth About History: The 
Principle of Healing Collective Wounds." In a subsequent 
companion exercise, small groups identified the "greatest 
wounds" in the history of the Episcopal Church; their lists 
included racism, gender discrimination, exclusion over sexuality 
issues, complicity in slave trade, slavery and the Civil War, 
mixed messages of 19th century evangelism, sexism, inability to 
deal with sexuality, the Methodists leaving the church, 
misogyny, treatment of women and the process of regularizing 
women's ordination, the Pope's declaration that Anglican orders 
are "invalid," classism, treatment of First Nations people, and 
clericalism.

-- Sovereignty: In secular terms, the state's authority over its 
citizens and land; in theological terms, the submission of one's 
self to God's will. In her talk titled "Submission to God," the 
Rev. Anne Tumilty, priest-in-charge of St. James' Church, South 
Pasadena, urged participants to contemplate the role of humility 
in their relationships with God and other people.

-- Atonement: Finding peace with God, which leads to 
transformation of the human heart. John Parsons of Christ the 
King in Santa Barbara addressed this topic by recounting his 
experiences of God's forgiveness for accumulated anger, some of 
which was sparked by his encounter with life-and-death 
situations while a Marine during the Vietnam War.

The eight points were reiterated during two Saturday-morning 
talks; "The Basis of Unity" by Michael Witmer, and "Becoming an 
Instrument of Reconciliation" by Jenny Parsons of Christ the 
King. With her Wednesday talk on "Moral Vision," Joanne 
O'Donnell joined Cox in delivering the opening presentations in 
the four-day dialogue. 

Citing Victor Hugo's remark that "There is nothing so powerful 
as an idea whose time has come," Cox concluded, "Conflict over 
sexuality may be God's way of bringing us to reconciliation. I 
really believe it is an idea whose time has come."

------

Further information about this effort may be obtained after May 
31 on-line at www.HandsInHealing.org.

--The Rev. Patricia McCaughan, a former editor with the Detroit 
News, is senior correspondent for The Episcopal News, 
publication of the Diocese of Los Angeles, of which Janet 
Kawamoto is managing editor. Robert Williams, editor of The 
Episcopal News, contributed to this story.


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