wfn.org | I'm a Taiwanese Daughter-in-law from Abroad

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Kaohsiung Christian Family Counseling Center, May 2004
Reported by Ruan Shyh-zhen  .Translated and Rewritten by David Alexander

I'm a Taiwanese daughter-in-law from Vietnam. I treasure my mother tongue and
culture, and love my second homeland, Taiwan.

My recent three years have been a process of rapid adjustment.	I've entered
into Taiwan's culture, social life and language. I've had few chances for
formal study of these, but happily became accustomed to them on my own.

In the early stages of my choice to enter into a cross-cultural marriage I
did
not allow myself to consider that I wouldn't adjust. I left the country of my
birth, my growth and my friends; took the hand of my new husband and came to
Taiwan.

My first impression was the language problem. I'd arrived in a new
environment, and was lonely and afraid.  I encountered no few troubles.
Still,
there were people in the family who were helpful. They introduced me to a
government supported program in a private social service agency.  The
"Foreign
Bride's Life Adjustment Counseling Project" gave me an opportunity to contact
the society at large, to be guided by a teacher, and to understand others
like
myself who came to Taiwan from overseas.  I made friends.

According to Taiwan's mainstream media I belong to the "overseas brides"
classification. This title carries several connotations. "Love money, no
knowledge, deviant ideas, etc." Even the children whom we bear and raise are
regarded as being "slow". When I heard this I was distressed and dispirited.
I learned that stories confirming these ideas are frequently run in the mass
media inducing many people to look at my friends and I with a particular set
of prejudices.	I admit that there are some overseas sisters who do not make
the best show of themselves, yet those with whom I am acquainted do not lack
in domesticity, academic ability, effort and willingness to become a part of
their husbands' extended families.  Their children are both intelligent and
adorable, much the same as the children of most Taiwanese families.

Having heard so many divergent opinions, I am both heartsick and driven to
speak out my feelings. The greatest opportunity I had came through
participation in the "Foreign Brides' Contact Family Case Seminar" and the
"Foreign Bride's Adjustment Teaching Resource and Translation Training
Course"
offered by the Kaohsiung Christian Family Counseling Center. Through the
knowledge and resources I gained in these programs I learned to understand
the
problems and situations of women like myself. We encouraged each other
through
our adjustment difficulties. The loving attitudes of the center's friendly
staff gave us strength and hope.

I am especially thankful for the concern that Elder Lin En-rao and the Taiwan
Presbyterian Church show for my overseas sisters and me. One practical
example
was the 3-day motorcycle drivers license training course they hosted at
Talinpu Presbyterian Church in Kaohsiung's Red Hair Port district.  Pastors
Chen Huei-shyh and Hsieh Fung-lung and their helpers became models to us.
They
enabled us to practice on motorbikes as they became our "mobility teachers
and
friends".

Currently I'm a volunteer social work assistant at the counseling center. I'm
happy at this work. It lets me directly help my sisters in their marriage and
family problems. I'm moved because of all the center has done for me to help
my children through the pressures they face. All of my Vietnamese sisters and
their Taiwanese husbands need this kind of concern, support, encouragement
and
acceptance. We all need the same kind of respect and concern. It helps us
adjust to life in Taiwan and makes us into good daughters-in-law here.

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