wfn.org | Taiwan's Christians Divorcing in Increasing Numbers

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Taiwan Church News 2730, 21-27 June 2004
Reported by Yang Shu-hao . Translated and Rewritten by David Alexander

Disturbing calls are the rule on the phone at the Kaohsiung Christian Family
Counseling Centre (KCFCC) in Southern Taiwan.  Not all who ask for counsel
are
Christians, but among those who are it is not unusual to hear the lament of a
woman that her husband is involved in an "outside relationship" and she
stands
helpless with no alternative but divorce.  Another might say that she has
withdrawn from participation in church life and when asked why, say that it
is
because she is divorced.  Based on their religious understandings neither of
these women dares let her situation become known among the members of her
church.

Pyng Sy-ho, the KCFCC director, regretfully says, "Every day we get calls,
many from Christians, but they do not dare to tell us the names of the
congregations of which they are members."

According to government statistics for 2003 Taiwan's divorce rate continues
its annual rise. Every day 178 divorces are finalized in this nation of 23.5
million people. When local Christians find themselves involved in marital
crises they feel more pressure than Taiwan's non-Christian majority because
they face the opprobrium of the church on top of whatever else may come their
way.

Ms. Pyng says, "The KCFCC records from last year reveal that 20% of our
caseload was from Christians. This shows that Christians are not exempt from
involvement in the rising tide of divorce nationwide. Churches must face up
to
the situation and offer support to their members who are in marital trouble.
A
divorced person should not feel shut out from the fellowship of the church.
He
or she should find mercy and comfort there."

Wu Su-mei (Ngo So-bi) is a member of Canaan Presbyterian Church in Hsin-chu.
She has long been involved in care of people involved in domestic violence
and
divorce. She says, "Christians do not take divorce lightly, we must be
devoted
to family harmony. But if a believer is already divorced, his or her church
must look to current needs." She adds, "Here at Canaan Church we have set up
a
residence for victims of domestic violence and organized what we call the
'Dorcas Fellowship' for divorced women. Both these actions have met with
approval and the church in general has learned to care for those who have
encountered marital setbacks. Because they do not suffer disapproval from
other group members, those who participate gradually open up. The atmosphere
of care and prayer helps in facing many difficulties of life and leads to
renewal."

Asserting that "those who have not endured marital failure have no idea how
it
feels," Ms Wu says that her role in the Dorcas Fellowship is to actively
demonstrate her concern. It has taken a long time, but now the church
membership in general has become accepting of divorced women in their midst.

Wen-Hwa (Culture) Presbyterian Church in Taoyuan has taken a more systematic
approach.  The Rev. Lu An-jen offers a community class on mental health and
psychology every Monday evening. This arose out of a course he took in
ministry and emotional healing. He estimates that a third of the marital
problems cases he deals with come from the population at large and the other
two thirds from church members. These include members of other churches who
take their marital counseling needs to Wen-Hwa church.

He says, "The church must respond to the needs of the believers and offer
answers to the emotional questions that they bring. Because those who have
experienced divorce have suffered, those who offer counseling must be trained
experts. Those who see religion as the cure are often unable to hear about
emotional and psychological problems because they are untrained in counseling
theory and technique. If professional help is to be offered it must meet the
actual needs. We want to offer the comfort and help of God, but only after a
hurting person has been satisfied emotionally and psychologically can the
power of religion come into play as a great help to a divorced person."

He sees the relationship between a pastor and his/her spouse as important in
helping divorced people but asserts anyone thinking to enter into a ministry
of marriage counseling should be trained.  Many theological schools offer
courses, but "the most important thing is an attitude of love and concern to
care for and nourish the divorced person."

The Rev. Lin Ni-ling serves as the Women's Ministries Secretary at the
General
Assembly of the Presbyterian Church in Taiwan. She believes that in all cases
of suffering and injury the church must first serve as a place of comfort and
healing, offering emotional recovery by means of the love of God. In this way
a divorced person can gradually recover.

But, she says, churches must consider how to offer positive help. Churches
must first seek to prevent marital breakdown. This is done partly through
support of family counseling classes and centres. Seminars on marital
communication and fellowship groups for the newly married can also help.
Organizations that foster discussion of marriage and help believers to
understand and strengthen their relationships both show concern and give
direction.

Regarding those church members who have gone through divorce, she believes
that if there are not many, matters can be generally left to the pastor and
his or her spouse. But as numbers grow it may be better to organize small
groups. However, she says, the groups should be small so that sharing not be
hindered. If people can be strengthened in these ways, we will walk out of
the
morass of divorce.

For More Information:
Kaohsiung Christian Family Counseling Centre kib71115@giga.net.tw
Canaan Presbyterian Church canaan.church@msa.hinet.net
Wen Hwa Presbyterian Church  davidlua@ms67.hinet.net
The Rev. Lin Ni-ling women@mail.pct.org.tw

Taiwan Church News is published weekly in Taiwan's local languages.
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