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[PCUSANEWS] TwoByTwo


From PCUSA NEWS <PCUSA.NEWS@ECUNET.ORG>
Date Mon, 28 Jun 2004 19:54:18 -0500

Note #8330 from PCUSA NEWS to PRESBYNEWS:

TwoByTwo
GA04039
June 28, 2004

TwoByTwo

Speaker says key to sexual healing is found in relationships

by Shane Whisler

RICHMOND, June 28 - People who struggle with same-gender sexual attraction
should be cared for in terms of relationships, rather than by formula, a
luncheon audience of about 80 Presbyterians was told Monday by Bradley
Grammar, director of Hope and New Life Ministry in Indianapolis, IN.

Grammar was the featured speaker at the event, which was sponsored by
OneByOne, an organization that ministers to "those who are in conflict with
their sexuality."

But before one can offer such care, he added, "You need to have the right
motivation, and that's not listed in the (OneByOne pastoral manual). The
wrong motivation is to say, 'We're going to help those poor homosexuals.'"

The right motivation includes a recognition of one's own brokenness,
gratitude for a sense of healing, and a desire to share that healing with
others, said Grammar, whose own ministry mirrors that of OneByOne.

Grammar went on to say that there are four kinds of relationships that help
people: Nurturing, Mentoring, Peer, and Family. He related part of his own
story to illustrate a mentoring relationship.

He said his youth pastor supported him, "discipled" him and got him involved
in activities with other boys in the church - but Grammar didn't reveal at
the time that he was struggling with same-sex attraction. Nonetheless, the
mentoring relationship was helpful to him.

"I didn't like playing softball, but he knew I needed just to hang out with
guys," Grammar said. "I never had before, because guys rejected me. I hung
out with girls because they didn't reject me."

Being a Christian doesn't automatically mean that you know how to love well,
he said, but it does mean putting a high priority on learning to do so.

This story and many others may have photos, media, video clips that can be
found at http://www.pcusa.org/ga216/.

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