wfn.org | Gender equality begins with fair treatment of foreign brides

["Taiwan Church News" <enews@pctpress.org>]

>      Taiwan Church News

>3027 Edition

>March 1~7, 2010

Gender equality begins with fair treatment of foreign brides

>Reported by Sam Lee

>Written by Lydia Ma

Who will take time and really listen to the voices and concerns of  foreign 
brides in Taiwan?

Kaohsiung Christian Family Counseling Center (KFC) recently held a  film 
festival on the lives

of women immigrants. Many foreign brides used this opportunity to  voice their 
thoughts and

>concerns.

Though the festival captured a facet of Taiwan’s diversity, a  few days later, 
a teacher from a

junior high school in Kaohsiung made headlines when the teacher  was overheard 
calling a

student “barbarian,” prompting the student to commit  suicide. The tragedy 
prompted lots of

discussion because the student’s mother was a foreign bride  and the incident 
reflected that

there remains a lot of misunderstanding and discrimination against  foreign 
brides.

In recent years, churches across Taiwan have begun focusing on  reaching out to 
foreign

brides after realizing many foreign brides struggle with meeting  the 
expectations of their new

families, their families back home, their referral agencies, and  their 
in-laws, on top of bringing

>up their children.

Last year, PCT General Assembly set up Gender Equality Committee.  For PCT, 
taking care

of some 430,000 foreign brides nationwide is another way of  furthering gender 
equality. As

we celebrate Women Ministries Sunday on the first Sunday of March,  let us 
think about

reaching out to foreign brides and making it an important part of  our women 
ministries.

It is up to church and society to correct misconceptions

According to KFC, there is room for improvement when it comes to  Taiwanese 
people’s

views on cross-cultural marriages. Treating women who’ve come  to Taiwan as 
foreign brides

with respect and fairness is one of the most important means for  churches in 
Taiwan to

>advance gender equality.

According to Kaohsiung City New Immigrant Families Service Center  (founded by 
Kaohsiung

and Shou-Shan Presbyteries), when foreign brides encounter  problems after 
getting married

to their Taiwanese husbands, or when conflicts occur with in-laws,  their 
husband’s family

usually feel the daughter-in-law is not submissive enough and  should be 
replaced. Some may

go as far as suggesting the family should purchase a new, more  suitable wife 
for the husband.

Such views reflect poorly on many Taiwanese families and imply  that many of 
them treat

foreign brides as mere tools and ignore the importance of marriage  and family 
as social

>institutions.

Churches can prevent this trend by training members to adopt  proper 
perspectives on family,

marriage, and the relationship between husbands and wives.  However, Kaohsiung 
Immigrant

Families Center acknowledged that media and society have also  affected how 
Christians

view foreign brides as well. As result, churches have spent a lot  of time 
correcting stereotypes

and misconceptions among its members in the past few years. Their  efforts have 
slowly

changed the way Christians treat foreign brides.

Despite progress, it is very difficult for foreign brides to get  plugged in at 
church become of

language barriers. Most PCT churches use Taiwanese during Sunday  services and 
foreign

brides usually have a hard time understanding the language. When  it comes to 
reading the

Bible, the writing style used in most Chinese Bibles is often too  complex for 
foreign brides to

understand even if Bible studies are taught in Mandarin.

In recent years, more and more churches are ministering to foreign  brides and 
helping these

women adjust to life in a new country. Churches often offer  classes on various 
subjects or help

these women acquire needed tools, such as a driver’s license.

However, cultural differences and language barriers create real  limitations 
for volunteers. This

situation has prompted KFC to suggest that PCT partner with  churches abroad 
and invite

Vietnamese or Indonesian missionaries to come to Taiwan and  minister to these 
women on a

>long-term basis.

To add to the challenge, Christians who marry foreign brides  rarely bring 
their wives to church.

This trend is especially apparent in middle-class, urban churches  where 
Christians have

adopted secular views on foreign brides. Even Christians forget  that “everyone 
is created by

>God and everyone is equal before God.”

Taiwanese society views having a wife from countries such as  Vietnam, 
Indonesia or Thailand

as reflective of one’s lower social and financial status,  whereas having a 
wife from Europe,

America, Japan, or other industrialized countries is a source of  pride and 
indicative of a

>person’s higher status.

One foreign bride’s plea – the story of Hsiao-Hui

If we were to sum up the heart cry of Hsiao-Hui, a foreign bride  from 
Indonesia, it would be,

“I’m a family member, not an object.”

“My name is Hsiao-Hui, I’m a Chinese-Indonesian and  I’ve been married for 
four-and-a-half

years. I came to Taiwan with my husband two years ago. We  don’t have children. 
In my family,

only my sister and I are Christians. We used to live in the second  largest 
city in Indonesia.”

“My husband and I are 18 years apart. We met in Indonesia,  fell in love, and 
got married. The

first two years of our marriage was spent in Indonesia and we  lived quite 
happily. But ever

since I followed my husband back to Taiwan, my life has been  filled with 
restrictions.”

“My husband prefers that I stay at home all the time. Perhaps  he is afraid 
that I will be conned

or taken advantage outside. Every time I go out, I can tell from  his demeanor 
that he doesn’t

like it very much and it will be a long time before I can go out  again.”

“I basically don’t have any friends in Taiwan and my  daily life consists of 
preparing three

meals, doing house chores, and, if there are guests, helping out.  My schedule 
is determined

by the people around me and meeting their needs.”

“My husband’s family believes in folk religion and  worships ancestors, but I 
am a Christian. My

mother-in-law has not been very understanding of my faith. Though  I speak 
Mandarin, I’m not

as fluent as Taiwanese people. That’s why it is difficult to  get my point 
across during

arguments, leading to more misunderstandings and this bothers  me.”

“The gap between my husband and I grows wider with every  passing day. We live 
under the

same roof, but our hearts are apart. Because of my faith, I  don’t dare get a 
divorce, but if I

were to call home and tell my parents the truth, they’d urge  me to go home. My 
husband tells

me that we’re pretty well off and I should be content. But  problems with 
in-laws, cultural shock,

and age difference are real problems to me.”

“After being introduced to KFC, I got acquainted with some  women and had some 
counseling.

Though I can’t get out often, it is very comforting to know  people who share 
the same faith as

me and receive their help. Now I feel calmer whenever I encounter  problems and 
I blame

>myself less often.”

“Though I’m doing well financially, the truth is that,  at home, I’m treated as 
a belonging instead

of a family member. This is hard to bear because I feel family  members 
shouldn’t hurt one

another or see one another as enemies. I hope that all  parents-in-law out 
there can give their

sons-in-law and daughters-in-law some space, and respect their  individualism. 
I also hope

that Taiwanese people will not make every problem a “foreign  bride problem” 
because even

Taiwanese people experience these problems during their marriages  and we 
should respect

>one another.”

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