wfn.org | Offcenter at the OnCenter

[PCUSA.NEWS@pcusa.org]

19-June-1997 
GA97106 
 
                     Offcenter at the Oncenter 
 
 
    Six hungry Presbyterians (and believe me, Offcenter knows hungry) tried 
to stuff themselves into a small rental car for a drive to a nearby 
restaurant.  One passenger, obviously dissatisfied with the arrangement, 
was heard to utter: "These six great ends are just too big!"  At least they 
didn't have to ride around that way for six years. 
 
                             # # # 
 
    Okay, 209'ers, you're running out of time to take advantage of the 
golden opportunity handed to you last Friday by Paul Winter.  He 
incorporated Northern timber wolf voices into one composition and then 
invited the audience to join in a "Howlaluia Chorus," which they did with 
gusto (and believe me, Offcenter knows gusto).  Afterwards he allowed as to 
how Congress might be completely different if it started each day with a 
unison wolf howl.  Offcenter knows many in the crowd were thinking, 
"Wouldn't that also be a totally cool way to start a G.A. plenary." 
So-o-o-o-o, howl about it? 
                             # # # 
 
    Offcenter is delighted to learn that at least one other 209er has 
priorities straight. One of the first evaluation forms returned to the 
Office of the General Assembly included the complaint: "Neither Syracuse 
newspaper carries `Apartment 3-G' and there was a major plot development 
during General Assembly.  As serial comic strips have major plot 
developments only about two or three times per decade, this was a 
disappointment."  Offcenter advises said evaluator to turn to the sports 
pages for the majorest plot development in more than 100 years: interleague 
baseball! 
                              # # # 
 
    Is there a marshmallow in the house?  Wednesday, somebody yelled 
"Fire!" and the War Memorial was evacuated briefly.  The brouhaha (and 
believe me, Offcenter knows brouhahas) reminded Marj Carpenter of an 
incident at the 1985 Indianapolis Assembly when a real fire broke out in 
the attic of the Assembly Hall.  The fire chief (Offcenter suspects he was 
a Unitarian) said evacuating the building was not necessary.  He did 
prevent the endangerment of innocents, however, by not allowing anyone else 
to ENTER the building until the fire was out. 

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