wfn.org | Promise Keepers helps moves man `of

[ENS.parti@ecunet.org (ENS)]

October 16, 1997
Episcopal News Service
Jim Solheim, Director
212-922-5385
ens@ecunet.org

97-1977
Promise Keepers helps moves man `off the fence'

by Karin Hamilton
      (ENS) Michael Souza, 40, described his faith as "on the fence"
before he went to the Promise Keepers' rally in Washington. Now, he's
off the fence, sure of his belief in Jesus Christ.
      What's more, his wife Cathy, 35, says her husband is more
thoughtful and considerate than he used to be. "We're on a high, now,"
she said. "I hope we can walk the journey together. It's what I've always
prayed for."
      Mike and Cathy have been married for 12 years. They have
worked together at a bakery they owned, and for the past five years, at a
local food importing company. The Souzas have two children, Marissa,
6, and Michael, 2. Both Michael and Cathy were raised as Roman
Catholics but religion hadn't played an important role in their lives until
after the children were born. At Cathy's initiative, they started attending
Grace Episcopal Church in Old Saybrook, Connecticut.
      Though both worked outside the home, Cathy took the lead in
their spiritual life, and also had almost full responsibility for domestic
chores, including cleaning and shopping. Following the rally in
Washington, however, she said that a change in Michael's behavior has
surprised her. While rushing through errands one recent evening, which
Cathy had to do before she could go to play in a basketball game, "Mike
volunteered to go to the grocery store and take the kids with him, so I
could go play basketball," she said, adding that he'd never been in tune
to her needs like that before. He's also volunteered to wash her car,
joined her in her daily exercise walks, and has remained enthusiastic
about going to church.

`On a fence'
      Michael described himself, before the rally, as "on a fence,
watching his wife walk the path." He said it was from years of not
believing, and a lack of support from the faith in which he'd been raised.
While they both received a warm welcome at the Episcopal Church, and
even participated in Bible study with several other couples, Michael said
he still struggled to overcome those years of not believing. 
      He went to the rally at the encouragement of another man in the
church, Sylvester Thomas, who had tried to get him to attend another
Promise Keepers rally, in Syracuse. Up to the end, confessed Souza, "I
had this attitude at home, not wanting to get to the church" to get on the
bus for Washington. Once there, he said he was overwhelmed by the
sheer number of men. "We went through the whole day, just watching
the men come down the hill, a constant line of men, it just kept coming."
      "In my eyes and my heart I realized that everyone there was
different, and I wasn't there to pass judgment on people's freedom of
choice. When they announced for us to yell out what church or
denomination we were, you couldn't make out anything people were
saying. Then they asked us to yell out the one common reason we were
there - Jesus Christ. When he counted to three, and a million men yelled
out Jesus Christ, it was just so clear ... that's when I shook, and my
whole body was overtaken with goosebumps." As he rubbed over his
skin in amazement, he said, a friend from his group leaned over and
said, "You know, those don't rub off..." 
      "I knew the reason I was there was to get off the fence, and to
praise the Lord."

An `incredible experience'
      Souza believes that since the rally, he's been thinking more about
the effect his actions have on others. "I think things out more. I think of
what I'm going to do, and of the consequences," he said. "It was an
incredible experience. It got me going. I don't think of things the same
as I used to."
      Cathy says that when Michael worked as a chef, he always used
to tell his co-workers that "the more we work together, the better we
are." Now, she says, she's finding that phrase applies to them, too. For
those critics who contend that Promise Keeper men want to be controllers
and leaders, she says, "He wants to be equal."

-- Karin Hamilton is editor of Good News, the newspaper in the Diocese
of Connecticut.