wfn.org | Exploring issue of blessing same-sex unions

[Daphne Mack <dmack@dfms.org>]

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99-081

California Forum explores issue of blessing same-sex unions 
by Stephanie Green
     
(ENS) Advocates who favor the church's move to bless 
same-sex unions met for a two-day forum in April at Church 
Divinity School of the Pacific (CDSP), addressing the most 
difficult obstacles they face in dealing with a highly 
controversial issue.
     
The forum, "Should the Church Bless Same-Sex Unions?" 
was sponsored by the Center for Anglican Life and Learning and 
CDSP, was facilitated by the Rev. Edwin Bacon, rector of All 
Saints' Church in Pasadena, and the Rev. Kathleen van Sickle of 
Good Shepherd Church in Berkeley.
     
Bacon said that his participation in the forum was 
based, not just on a theology of justice alone, but on a theology 
and passion for vocation. He cited author Frederick Buechner's 
definition of vocation--where one's deep joy and the world's deep 
needs meet. "People and systems are most energized when they are 
in touch with their vocations and in tune with their call," he 
said. "To live a called life is to live an energized life; a non-
called life is bland and energyless."
     
Admitting that he was raised to believe that gays and 
lesbians choose their orientation, Bacon said that an adult gay 
friend led him to a deep conviction that it was not a choice, 
that God intended some people to be gay. And he noticed that his 
gay colleague felt safe and free when he could "express his 
giftedness, skill and passion in an unbridled, creative form." 
Yet when he encountered judgment from family, colleagues and 
friends, he suppressed his creativity to protect himself.
     
Drawing on a similar experience over the issue of 
women's ordination, Bacon said that he felt drawn into a 
commitment to prepare people for inevitable change. So he began 
teaching about the holiness of homosexual love--and the need for 
the church to bless same-sex unions.
Release of Gospel power 
     
When he was dean of the cathedral in Jackson, 
Mississippi, he was interviewed by All Saints' in Pasadena and 
asked if he would bless same-sex unions. He answered, 
"Absolutely." The issue became concrete when he was asked to 
bless a couple celebrating a 15-year relationship. During 
counseling he drew on questions he had always used before: Is 
there sacramental power in the relationship? Can one sense the 
presence of the Holy Spirit in all aspects of their relationship? 
Shortly after he arrived, he did bless the relationship, calling 
it a "thrilling and energizing" experience.
     
Shortly after he moved to Pasadena, and in the wake of 
the attempted heresy trial of Bishop Walter Righter for ordaining 
a non-celibate gay man, Bacon convened the first "Beyond 
Inclusion" conference as a celebration of gay and lesbian 
presence in the church.
     
Bacon is convinced that a Gospel power is released in 
parishes where gays and lesbians are free to be out--and to be 
blessed by the community. "The church knows something about God's 
radically inclusive love: the Eucharist turns people's lives 
around and it, too, is experienced as a Gospel moment."
     
He concluded by stressing that the kingdom of God is a 
reign of justice and about being aligned with God's love. If the 
world were left to its own designs, he argued, it would never 
make itself just, non-violent and inclusive. Therefore the Body 
of Christ has a special responsibility to push the world to be 
just, peaceful and inclusive, even if that means that "individual 
churches must engage in ecclesial disobedience in order to bring 
the national church into the arena where it may lead the world in 
justice, particularly on this issue."

Van Sickle's ceremony
     
When she was a senior at CDSP Van Sickle did not know 
that she was a lesbian. Several years later, when she and her 
partner moved to the Bay Area where she worked as a liturgical 
deacon at Good Shepherd in Berkeley, she was drawn into the issue 
blessing same-sex unions.
     
Members of the parish met with the bishop to discuss 
the issue, prepared to argue the case in favor. They were 
surprised when the bishop suggested that, as a pilot project, the 
congregation put together a liturgy for blessing a couple in the 
congregation, perform that ceremony and report back to him.
     
The challenge led the congregation into a discussion 
about who it was and what it was celebrating--a life-giving 
relationship. The whole congregation participated in scriptural 
study, accompanied by a theological exploration of baptism and 
other issues that defined them as a community.
     
During a search for a couple that was open to a 
ceremony, it dawned on Van Sickle and her partner that they might 
be the right candidates. Even though they had decided to wait 
until the church had resolved the issue, they realized that the 
church moves at "glacial speed" and sometimes needs a nudge.
     
Elizabeth Smith, a doctoral student in liturgy at 
CDSP, wrote a service and, even though Van Sickle and her partner 
Barbara describe themselves as private people, Van Sickle 
acknowledged that the blessing ceremony was "the most fabulous 
event in my life--an incredible experience because of the love of 
the community gathered."
     
The ceremony was a transforming experience for her 
family, especially for her mother who "could now know that the 
church loves me and that it is okay to be with Barbara."
Issues emerge from groups 
     
Concerns emerged from eight small groups, addressing 
some of the most difficult barriers to the church's blessing of 
same-sex relationships.
     
Many people, for example, expressed concern over how 
to address through pastoral care and dialogue those in the church 
who have no tolerance for homosexuality and those who disagree 
strongly with the blessing of same-sex unions. Some wondered if 
the church might be permanently divided over the issue. Others 
wondered how to maintain unity with the rest of the Anglican 
Communion.
     
Bacon stressed that the current conflict should be 
regarded as a teaching moment through which the church can look 
at its biblical interpretation, theology, liturgy, community 
involvement and sacramental life. He noted that experience is the 
greatest teacher and that, without it, there is no vision.
     
"Every story of change in the church came from the 
battering ram of justice," he said. "Justice has to be pushed and 
confronted and people need to be willing to risk themselves. 
Education needs to be directed to everyone--even the bishops. The 
bishops are not the church, however; this was the mistake of 
Lambeth."
     
Many participants shared concerns about the kind of 
liturgy that might be used to bless same-sex unions, arguing that 
it should not mimic heterosexual marriage rites but be adapted to 
the needs and realities of individual relationships. Bacon said 
that he follows the structure for marriage from the Book of 
Common Prayer but gives couples the freedom to choose their own 
language.
     
"I am concerned that the blessing of a union will not 
carry with it the sacramental statement into the world that 
marriage carries," said one person. "I believe within the couple 
a sacramental quality might be present but how can they proclaim 
and share that sacrament in the world?"

Support from community
     
In addressing some of the civil implications, some 
wondered what "weight" the blessings would carry. Since marriage 
is the place where church and state meet, another person asked 
how the church could "lead the way for secular and legal 
institutions to make room for same-sex unions." John Kater, who 
teaches ethics at CDSP, recommended separating civil and 
religious ceremonies, as is done in most of the world. "Let the 
civil society get on with the civil act, let the church bless 
people," he said.
     
Broad concern was expressed about how the church 
community could best support a gay or lesbian couple before, 
during and after a blessing. And some questioned the process of 
counseling before the ceremony. Bacon said that, in his 
experience, there wasn't much difference in the issues couples 
face.
     
One gay man underscored the importance of finding 
support within the church community for long-term relationships 
because, in the gay community, those relationships are more the 
exception than the rule. Bacon reminded participants that the 
community did the blessing.
     
The church's difficulty in dealing with sexuality 
stems largely from its inability to deal with the unity of the 
body and the spirit, making it almost impossible to accept 
homosexuality as something intended by God. 

--Stephanie Green is a student at CDSP and assists in the 
office of the Center for Anglican Life and Learning.