wfn.org | [PCUSANEWS] Pastor's retreat experience: a case of mistaken identity

[PCUSA NEWS <PCUSA.NEWS@ECUNET.ORG>]

Note #8761 from PCUSA NEWS to PRESBYNEWS:

05307
June 10, 2005

On a role

Pastor's retreat experience: a case of mistaken identity

by Rev. Richard Hinkle
Terrace View Presbyterian Church, Mountlake Terrace, WA

SNOWBIRD, UT ? COOL. The word aptly describes my mood as I arrived at the
Snowbird Resort in Utah for the National Pastors Retreat.  

	COOL. The temperature was in the upper 50s; we were at 8,000 feet. It
had been unseasonably hot (in the 90s) when I'd left Seattle, so it was
refreshing and invigorating to step out of the airport shuttle and breathe in
the brisk mountain air.

	COOL. The event opened with a jazz vespers service featuring the hip
stylings of Bill Carter and the Presbybop Quartet and the smooth vocals of
Warren Cooper. It was a splendid way to begin to put the cares of parish
ministry aside and "come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest
awhile." (Mark 6: 30-32)

	COOL. It was great to be with several hundred other Presbyterian
pastors, to have a chance to connect with old friends and make new ones. I
was able to spend some time with the pastor of a church I served as a
seminary intern almost 15 years ago. I enjoyed extended conversations with a
long-lost colleague who lived just down the road (20 miles) from a church I
once served in Tecumseh, Nebraska.  

	Over the years I have attended a good number of continuing-education
events, 
workshops, conferences and the like. Sometimes they have turned out to be as
worthwhile, and as pleasant, as advertised. Sometimes I've wished I could get
a refund.  

	The National Pastors Retreat exceeded my expectations.	

	I'd had invitations to several events taking place this spring and
summer, and had chosen the pastors' retreat because of its lineup of
outstanding speakers (Walter Brueggemann, James Forbes, Tony Campolo and
Barbara Brown Taylor) and because organizers promised to set aside large
blocks of time for personal reflection, recreation and refreshment - Sabbath
time.

	Sabbath, in fact, was one of the subjects taken up by Taylor, who
posed an intriguing question:

	"Who am I, when I'm not working?"  

	To most of the people in the congregation I serve, my identity is
clearly "pastor." Although I am many other things as well - husband, father,
friend, baseball coach - I am always "Pastor Rich."  

	And that's how I think of myself. My identity is largely invested in
my role as pastor. So, for me, Taylor's question raised an issue of
personhood: Can I step out of that role when I take my Sabbath?  

	Mulling over that question throughout the conference, I discovered
that my ability to set aside my self-identity as a pastor was directly
related to my capacity for relaxing and simply enjoying the pleasures of
God's creation.

	As I became aware of this distinction between role and self, the air
actually seemed clearer, the mountains higher. And my conversations with
colleagues moved beyond "shop talk" to something deeper and more meaningful.

	I came to understand what Taylor had meant when she'd said: "In those
moments when I can let go of my own control and trust and rest in God ... I
truly discover just how important I am to God."

Editor's note: This is the second of three articles by participants in the
recent National Pastors Retreat.

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